Here We Go, Again

It has only been four months since you left but it seems like forever already. Here we go, again, yes, again. Here we go with the lonely nights and days of feeling blue because we are trying to understand how to cope with missing you. Here we go again with the heartache of watching the kids cry because they had no idea how long it would be when they told you good-bye. Here we go again with the fears of you being gone and the daily prayer that God will please allow you to make it home. Here we go again, yes, again.

Here we go again with the random tears and the hidden fears. Will things change like before? Will we ever see the man who walked out of the door? Although I truly want these thoughts to pass me by, I sometimes wonder will it be the same as the day we said goodbye. Here we go again with missing your touch, your hugs, and your smile. So many days we wish we could get to you but with that would come traveling many miles. Here we go again with everything seeming to fall apart when you are gone and dealing with the feelings of having to handle a lot of things all alone. Here we go, again, yes, again.

Here we go again facing the fact that even though we are apart life must go on and sometimes it seems impossible but we all must be strong. The kids are missing you like crazy and so do I, however, we are all grateful as each day goes by. Many people do not understand the heartache that we feel as we are forced to separate and no, time does not heal. Time does not heal the wounds we gain from the time we lose or the special moments that you can only hear about as if it were news. The first year of our baby’s life that you will miss or the sadness that Mariah feels because she desires to give her dad a goodnight kiss. Time will not replace the first year of middle school for our first born or the long-awaited first day of kindergarten for our second son. 

Many people do not understand the price that we pay when they look at us and think we have it made. There is a sacrifice that comes along with this life we live and the precious moments of your life that you have chosen to give. You give to your country that you support and love and you truly believe that this is a call from above. A call to help improve the lives of others no matter their gender, background, or color. So, because of that, here we go again, yes, again. Here we go again with another opportunity to appreciate what we have worked to create; a chance to help others understand even those that cannot relate. A chance to grow as a family, although we are apart, we are truly connected by the heart. Here we go again with another opportunity for God’s glory to be revealed and although time cannot, God can and will heal. He will make up for the time that we have lost and compensate us for paying such a significant cost. Here we go again, yes, again.

Here we go again with the chance for our love to grow in a different light and for our relationship to blossom even in spite. In spite of the distance, our love is real and the test of time can and will reveal that it is possible to love and be apart for a while, when your heart is in it then you make a decision to continue to smile. We deal with the tears and the dateless days as we keep in mind that this is only a phase. This is a temporary situation that will have long-lasting benefits; As we learn to cherish and have a different appreciation for our moments. The moments we are together as a family, the times we love and share, have a different meaning when you are here. Since we understand what it means for you to be gone we truly appreciate you when you are home. Here we go again with an opportunity for our kids to grow as they experience some hardships that other kids will never know. A time for them to walk in their resilience and show others how in the midst of fear you can walk through as fearless. So, as I thank you for all that you do I also thank God for another chance to show how we, the Johnson’s, can and will make it through. Here we go again, yes, again.


Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee”.   Isaiah 26:3


                                                      WE ARE THE JOHNSON’S


You are a Privilege, not an Entitlement!

girls-462072_1280Recently, while having a heartfelt conversation with one of my dear friends, I received a revelation that completely changed my view of relationships. As we were discussing previous and current friendships, my friend said one word that made me realize not only how valuable I am, but also how valuable others are to me.  The one word that altered my perspective was the word, “privilege”.  The idea of a relationship being a privilege had never crossed my mind.  However, I now understand that I am a privilege and not an obligation.  In other words, I am a benefit and a special advantage opposed to an ordinary right.  Yes, I am a privilege and so are you!

Many times we allow people to take our presence, in their lives, for granted. People will misuse us and abuse us, while treating us as though we have no value.   Unfortunately, we often unintentionally give them the approval to do so.  It is not uncommon to be involved in relationships, whether with family or friends, which lack balance.  We sometimes believe that we hold a place in someone’s heart and/or mind that has never been open to us.  In an effort to secure these places, we often find ourselves fighting for relationships that lack the loyalty we believe they hold.  We forget or fail to realize our importance, when we encourage ourselves to believe that we need relationships with people who devalue our worth.  We do not need these relationships nor should we accept them.  We are privileges and not entitlements!

We are not guarantees because someone believes they meet the qualifications to benefit from us. We are not programs offered by the government that lack depth and commitment. When we open our hearts, minds, lives, thoughts and innermost beings to people that is a choice.  Those choices are often made out of love, respect, honor, devotion, and trust.  The same feelings and emotions that prompt our choice to give of ourselves, in relationships, should be reciprocated by the other persons.  We are worthy of the same love, respect, honor, devotion and trust that we give because we are privileges and not entitlements!

People do not automatically have a right to our time, but instead, it is a gift that we freely decide to give. Our conversations, advice, wisdom, and experiences are not obligations and should; therefore, be appreciated as special rights.  When we decide to include others in the lives of our families, that is an honor.  By sharing our weddings, anniversaries, the success of our children, college graduations, new arrivals, and more, we are giving people the opportunity to take part in the special moments of our lives.  These moments should be savored by people who are also willing to share theirs. 

Only people, who understand the importance of a two- way relationship and the respect that is imperative in that relationship, should be granted the rights to your sacred memories.  Having access to your life is a privilege!  The opportunity to share your joys and fears is a privilege!   Someone being allowed to bond with your spouse and children is a privilege!   We should no longer allow people to treat us as though they are entitled to us and take us for granted.  We should no longer allow people, who disrespect our feelings, by ending relationships without warning or explanations, to occupy our hearts and our thoughts.  We are valuable, and our relationships should be treated as such.  Remember, you are a privilege, not an entitlement!     


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