In the Meantime

Worried, afraid, and confused are all words that can be used to describe my feelings.  One day everything seemed fine.  I was busy taking care of my husband, my kids, and my home.  The excitement I had begun to feel about my future writing career could not be described.  School was going well and I was working towards my second Master’s degree while working on building my family’s blog talk show when one day things changed.  There may have been some subtle signs before, but honestly, I did not notice.  However, when I noticed the signs, there was no denying that they were there.

My body was changing and I was experiencing things that I had never experienced before.  I began searching online trying to figure out what was going on with me.  My husband, being the awesome person he is, finally told me in a very loving way, that I was allowing myself to be consumed and I did not even realize it.  Although I was waiting for doctor appointments, they just did not seem to come fast enough.  I felt like I needed answers immediately.  I wanted to know why my body was turning on me and what I had done to cause it to do so.

I will never forget this one particular evening I was talking to a sister in Christ on the phone and she said some wonderful and uplifting things to me.  There was one thing she said which caused me to take a closer look at myself and how I was handling this situation.  She began to share with me about how God was dealing with her concerning the “meantime” moments.  The ironic thing is that the next day I spoke with another friend who had been given the same word!  I knew without a shadow of a doubt there was something I personally needed to receive about my meantime moment.

The meantime is our time of waiting and sometimes a time of suffering and endurance.  This is the time when we have yet to see the manifestation of what we desire and what we have prayed for, however, we believe that we will.  The meantime comes before the appointed time.  In the meantime, we may struggle physically, emotionally, mentally, and physically but we remind ourselves that this time is only temporary.  The meantime is not the end; it is the time that comes before the promise.    

During the meantime, it is often difficult to see a positive ending.  When things are looking contrary to what we are hoping, many times, we find ourselves discouraged and maybe even depressed because we don’t have a complete understanding of what is happening and why.  However, we must remember that while we are in our meantime moments, there is still activity taking place.  Meanwhile, God is still working on our behalf, and he is answering our prayers.  While we are in our meantime moments, we must keep believing!  We must keep praying!  We must keep trusting!  We must keep seeking!  We must keep loving!  We must keep sowing!

 In the meantime, it is important to remember that there is a name that is above every problem or situation that we could ever face.  In the meantime moments know that God still sits on the throne and that Jesus still sits at the right hand as an advocate for us.  He has promised to heal, deliver, and set the captives free.  In the meantime, we must make a choice to stay focused on what is ahead of us and not what is before us.   There is an appointed time, and before it appears, there is a meantime.

 

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” Psalms 34:19 KJV

 

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Hey Mom, You are Appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who works 8 hours a day only to spend 4 hours with your kids before going to bed in order to prepare for the next 8 hour work day, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who stays home with your kids while never getting a moment to clear your head, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who decided not to immunize, who breast feeds and prefers cloth diapers, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who decided that formula feeding works best for you and your baby while deciding immunizations and pampers are okay too, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who gave birth with pain medicine or maybe even a c-section, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who gave birth naturally and was capable of enduring the pain without assistance, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who has not been able to give birth at all but has chosen to love a child that was birth by another, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who birth a child but was unable to provide the security needed so you decided to share your role as mother, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who deals with the conflicts of co-parenting with dad, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who parent’s alone, because dad for some reason is not in the home or involved, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who home schools her kids, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who has public school as the only option, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who chose private school in lieu of the other two, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who questions yourself and whether or not you are getting it all right, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who tries to live up to the standards and expectations of others while not realizing that you are awesome all by herself, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who cries in the dark when no one is around because you desire to give your children the best of you, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who makes mistakes over and over again but refuses to allow those mistakes to keep you from striving to become a better person, you are appreciated!

Hey mom, yes, you, the one who has raised her kids into wonderful adults and sometimes feels forgotten, know that you are not forgotten and you are appreciated!

To the mothers who constantly give their all and make sacrifices on a daily basis; sacrifices that often seem to go unnoticed, you are appreciated!

To the mothers who work to provide while dealing with the guilt of losing time; as well as the mothers who feel guilty for desiring free time, although you desperately need it, you are appreciated!

 

With so much criticism in the world today, we often fail to realize our value as people. To all of the mothers out there, regardless of race, nationality or background, you are appreciated!  There is nothing that compares to the nurturing and loving presence of a mother.  Regardless of differences in opinions and choices, mom, you are appreciated!   

 

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My Heartbeats,Jamiyah and Jamiece

My Girls, My Loves, My Miracles

Sent from the Heavens Above

I Thank God for choosing me as the vessel for your Life

Baby, did you hear their Heartbeat –

Yes, I hear Beat One and Beat Two

Blessed, Angelic Angels

Gifts from God

Smiles on our face

Joy in our Hearts

My psyche would have never envisioned

I would have to experience losing you so soon

Your Sweet Breaths shortly disappeared from your being

Sounds of your Precious Heartbeats has become silent

Our Physical Encounter was very brief

But I Thank God for every moment we shared

From the first day He placed you both in My Womb

I Thank God for your Movements and your Sounds

My Girls, My Loves, My Miracles

My Soul Cries

As the Tears fall from my Eyes

Articulating the Words, I Miss You is an understatement

Jamiyah & Jamiece you are in our thoughts daily

We carry your Spirits with Grace

We will Forever Hold You in our Hearts

God, My Father although I lost part of me

I Thank You

Thank You for Your Amazing Promises

Thank You for Me being Chosen to Embrace your Gifts

God, I Thank You for being that Calm, Peaceful Wind in the midst of the Storm

I Thank You, for allowing your Peace to Be Still in My Turbulent Time of Distress

Thank You God for Jamiyah & Jamiece

My Girls, My Loves, My Miracles

 

Written For: Jamiyah & Jamiece Johnson (September 2010)

Written By: Ms. Jones (September 2016)

 

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You are a Privilege, not an Entitlement!

girls-462072_1280Recently, while having a heartfelt conversation with one of my dear friends, I received a revelation that completely changed my view of relationships. As we were discussing previous and current friendships, my friend said one word that made me realize not only how valuable I am, but also how valuable others are to me.  The one word that altered my perspective was the word, “privilege”.  The idea of a relationship being a privilege had never crossed my mind.  However, I now understand that I am a privilege and not an obligation.  In other words, I am a benefit and a special advantage opposed to an ordinary right.  Yes, I am a privilege and so are you!

Many times we allow people to take our presence, in their lives, for granted. People will misuse us and abuse us, while treating us as though we have no value.   Unfortunately, we often unintentionally give them the approval to do so.  It is not uncommon to be involved in relationships, whether with family or friends, which lack balance.  We sometimes believe that we hold a place in someone’s heart and/or mind that has never been open to us.  In an effort to secure these places, we often find ourselves fighting for relationships that lack the loyalty we believe they hold.  We forget or fail to realize our importance, when we encourage ourselves to believe that we need relationships with people who devalue our worth.  We do not need these relationships nor should we accept them.  We are privileges and not entitlements!

We are not guarantees because someone believes they meet the qualifications to benefit from us. We are not programs offered by the government that lack depth and commitment. When we open our hearts, minds, lives, thoughts and innermost beings to people that is a choice.  Those choices are often made out of love, respect, honor, devotion, and trust.  The same feelings and emotions that prompt our choice to give of ourselves, in relationships, should be reciprocated by the other persons.  We are worthy of the same love, respect, honor, devotion and trust that we give because we are privileges and not entitlements!

People do not automatically have a right to our time, but instead, it is a gift that we freely decide to give. Our conversations, advice, wisdom, and experiences are not obligations and should; therefore, be appreciated as special rights.  When we decide to include others in the lives of our families, that is an honor.  By sharing our weddings, anniversaries, the success of our children, college graduations, new arrivals, and more, we are giving people the opportunity to take part in the special moments of our lives.  These moments should be savored by people who are also willing to share theirs. 

Only people, who understand the importance of a two- way relationship and the respect that is imperative in that relationship, should be granted the rights to your sacred memories.  Having access to your life is a privilege!  The opportunity to share your joys and fears is a privilege!   Someone being allowed to bond with your spouse and children is a privilege!   We should no longer allow people to treat us as though they are entitled to us and take us for granted.  We should no longer allow people, who disrespect our feelings, by ending relationships without warning or explanations, to occupy our hearts and our thoughts.  We are valuable, and our relationships should be treated as such.  Remember, you are a privilege, not an entitlement!     

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False Positive Part II

As I sat in the room waiting on my lab results, I maintained the hope that this time would be different than before. Unfortunately, I was wrong.  After I received the lab results, the doctor came in and advised that both of my pregnancy tests were suspected to be “false positives”.  Due to my history, we later determined that I suffered a chemical pregnancy, which is often associated with “false positive” pregnancy test.  Although there was a fertilized egg, it never completely implanted or for some reason, it could not continue to grow in my uterus, which resulted in an early miscarriage.  At the time I received the positive pregnancy test results, the fate of the baby was already determined but we had no idea.

As I sat in the room, the words “false” and “positive” kept ringing in my ears. After years of infertility, followed by years of back to back pregnancies, I never encountered a false positive pregnancy test and definitely not two of them.  How could something that seemed so accurate on the surface end up being wrong?  If the tests were truly false positives then the excitement and expectation that my family felt was based on a counterfeit positive result.  Although this was a natural situation, I found myself receiving a spiritual awakening and powerful revelation.

Proverbs 16:25 states, “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but then end thereof are the ways of death”. There are times when we are believing in and practice ways that seem right.  We are definite that these ways are leading us down the right path, however, in actuality they are not.  As people of God, we have been given a layout and a specific design that we are commanded to follow.  Failure to follow this layout and /or design will cause us to be separated from God and will lead to death.  By not abiding by God’s plan and instructions, our spirits will suffer and eventually the relationship that we have worked hard to build will suffocate.

Signs

At the present time, it is imperative that we know the truth and that we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us and guide us.   Many of us are convinced that our ways are correct, but they are actually false positives.  In other words, these ways and ideas are built on purposeful deceit, by the enemy.  We are looking forward to a successful end, but that end is only an illusion.  This road that is spoken of in Proverbs is a road that is an imitation; however, this road closely resembles the correct way.  Although the road leads the wrong way, it has been given the attractions needed to fool even the wise.

The road has been padded with luxury statements, which are meant to please our fleshly desires, without the true conviction that comes from the word of God. One that seems to be right, because it is the life that is modeled by those we have put our trust in, however, we have failed to compare it to God’s word.   The road has signs that tell us to stop when we should go and signs that tell us to go when we should stop.  This road is filled with hidden fears and distractions.  Hateful ways are disguised as loving ways and relationships are constantly destroyed while on this road.

As we are traveling on this road, we have a false assurance that we will obtain success, when failure is truly the only destination on the road. Let’s be diligent in our walk with God.  We must seek him to ensure that we are not living a life filled with false hope and expectations.  Just as there is a road that seems right, there is a road that is right.  There is a road filled with strength, hope, guidance, love, fulfillment, healing, deliverance and abundance.  There is a road that God has ordained and it will only guide us into his loving truth.  There is a road that will lead to restored relationships, forgiveness and success.  There is a road that is not a “false positive” but truly is “positive”.

 “The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.” Proverbs 12:15

 

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Enough is Enough!

Enough

I am through with it all! I am done!  I can’t and I won’t continue to live in this manner.  I have decided that enough is enough!  The fear that has kept me in captivity for years will no longer have its hold.  The enemies of procrastination, consistent tardiness, and complacency no longer have a place in my life.  The constant doubt of who I am and confusion concerning my purpose have to go.  Why?  Because enough is enough!

The idea of settling and accepting less than what I desire in my heart, is no longer an option. I refuse to live by the boundaries that have been established around me.  The boundaries that accept poverty, lack, and the mentality that “comfortable is ok”.  I will stop looking at those who have beaten the odds and thinking, “That type of success is not for me”.  It is time out for spending too much time on the “whys” and failing to spend the required time and energy on what can be done to change the situation.  I understand some believe that we must know the past to accomplish greatness in the future; however, we sometimes allow that past to hinder our future.  We spend a lot of time expecting and looking for answers as we continue to look back and that slows down our forward movement.  Well, for me, enough is enough!

I have had enough of the hate that keeps us as people of all races and ethnicities back. I have had enough of the excuses and the blaming of everyone else but ourselves, which causes us to stay stagnant.  How we grew up, where we grew up, what happened while we were growing up does not have to be used as reasons why we cannot accomplish and achieve greatness.  These things are only used because we chose to use them and it is time to stop because enough is enough.

Settling is a choice and an opportunity. It is not a road that has to be taken it is a road that we decide to take.  Just as we have the opportunity to settle we have the opportunity to soar.  Of course it may be harder for some than others; however, it is not impossible.  Educational opportunities, business opportunities, ways to overcome debt and etc… are available to us all.  It is time that we tap into the greatness and abilities that have been placed on the inside of us.  There is nothing keeping us from reaching deep and looking high, except ourselves.  I have decided that I will no longer look to follow the trends of others but I will become the trendsetter.  I will be happy! I will be free!  I will succeed!  Why? Because the moment has come to say that enough is enough!

 

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

 

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The Beauty of it all

Even in hard situations, most of the time, something beautiful can be found.  Beauty comes in many different forms and it is often overlooked.  When things happen and God intervenes this is an example of his love and graciousness.  When relationships are broken and God provides restoration that is an example of his beauty.  Deliverance that comes after years of bondage and addiction is a display of God’s beauty.   When financial breakthrough comes after a financial struggle, that is beauty.   After waiting years for a heart’s desire that has finally manifested there is no mistaking of God’s beauty.  Whenever survival comes after the things that were meant to destroy, kill and steal then God’s beauty is apparent.  If we choose to look then we can see the beauty of it all.     

 

“He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.”  Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

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Have the Courage to Believe

In the book of Joshua, God instructed Joshua to discontinue his mourning of Moses and to move forward into the land that he had been promised.  Within that scripture God told Joshua to be “strong and courageous”, “strong and of a good courage”, and to “be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed”.  In other words, God was telling Joshua that he was to utilize the strength he had been given and that he was not to fear.  Joshua had been given the appropriate time needed to mourn the death of Moses and now it was time for him to go and conquer that land of promise.

Many times God has promised us a “land of promise” that we often fail to conquer due to an unknowing yet hindering fear.  This fear is commonly and unintentionally passed down from generation to generation. With our children carrying the same apprehension that hinders their dreams and visions.  In a world filled with opportunities and risks, it takes courage to believe in the unbelievable.   Even after deciding to believe, it then takes vision and the willingness to see ourselves in the place we are working to reach.  Often times we wait for the support and approval of our loved ones, however, they may have an inability to see us in a place where they cannot see themselves.  God is a God of examples and someone has to have the courage to be that example.  There has to be an example of strength, an example of courage, an example of determination and an example of unbelievable success.

Just as when God spoke to Joshua and told him to “arise” because Moses was dead, God is speaking to many of us and telling us to arise.  We must stop mourning those dead things and have the courage to believe in what lies ahead.  Joshua had to get up and make a move in order to conquer the land that had been promised to his people.  His success required faith, courage, strength, movement, determination and obedience.  Joshua could not be distracted by those who complained and failed to believe.  The promise was not made by people, it was made by God.  Only God could lead Joshua into the land of milk and honey.   Although it may seem impossible, never lose your faith.  It can happen and it will happen if you maintain the courage to believe.

 

“Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth” Mark 9:23

Wait! Don’t Give Up! It is Coming in Time!

No, please not another year! Do I have to wait another year?  What have I done to cause this long delay?  How do I find the strength to continue even though I am discouraged and tired?  I believe these are questions many of us have asked during our time of waiting.  When there is a strong desire, waiting can seem almost impossible to do at times.  Although it may seem hard, don’t give up, it will come at the appointed time!

What is an appointed time?  A time that is predetermined, predestined, set and fixed.  In every promise God has scheduled an appointed time.  For many years before the birth of my daughter I struggled with the ability to wait.  I knew that God had promised me a daughter but I often became overwhelmed with the process.  At one point I tried to convince myself that I no longer believed because that seemed easier then accepting that God had an appointed time for his promise to manifest.  There were many times I heard, “it’s not time yet” and honestly I would become offended and defensive.  How easy it seemed for someone who had a daughter to say those words to me.  I mean really, they had no idea how I felt! Well, that is what I believed at the time.  Actually, most of us understand what it means to wait.  Everyone may be waiting on different things but it does not change the fact that they are waiting.

 When I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter it seemed surreal.  It was really incredible since my husband and I had lost our twin daughters 3 years before.   God’s promise was actually manifesting after years of crying, times of questioning and moments of doubting.  I now realize that there was a set time for her conception, her birth and her life.  God had already preplanned everything concerning her and although the promise was given to me and the desire grew stronger each year there was still an appointed time.

 I encourage anyone who is in a time of waiting to be confident in God’s promises.  He is always a keeper of his word and no matter how bleak it seems never lose hope.  During our time of waiting it is important to stay encouraged.  Although you may have your moments of discouragement do not stay there.   Talk to a friend, begin to prepare for the promise as though it is on the way and continue to believe.  Utilize your time of waiting in a positive way.  Begin to focus on building your visions and dreams, self improvement and bettering the community.  Even in the midst of waiting there are opportunities to move forward and to achieve success.  Many times there is a path we must take prior to getting where we would like to go. Pray for guidance, walk your path and never give up because the desire will come forth at the appointed time. Regardless of what you are waiting for there is something for you to remember. Wait! Don’t give up!  It’s coming in time!  

 “But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”    James 1:4

 

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Invest in Yourself

 

I realize that I have a bad habit that needs to be broken. The habit that I am speaking of is actually common among many people I know although I don’t know if they realize that it is a habit.  Sometimes we become so consumed with the cares of life and we forget to invest in ourselves.  We invest in our spouses, our children, jobs, churches, community and etc…but we forget to invest in ourselves. 

It is important to devote some time, energy and resources into ourselves.  I am in no way speaking against doing things for others; however, we must remember how important it is to do something for ourselves.  This is something we must put into practice on a regular basis and not just every now and then. 

   I want to encourage everyone that has an issue like I do to make it up in your mind that you will strive to change today.  If you are putting hours and hours of work in on someone else’s job, try to make time to work on your own business.  If you always buy for your family and forget about yourself take a day and buy just for you.  If you always sacrifice your rest for others take a day to rest for you.  If you are always listening to others to help them with their issues take a day to allow a friend to listen to you.  There are so many ways to look out for you, take care of yourself, love yourself, buy for yourself, and take time for yourself.  However you need to just ensure that you invest in yourself!