For many years I unknowingly struggled with the issue of wanting to be accepted. After experiencing years of rejection from some of my family, I developed an insecurity that I was unaware even existed. I often told myself that I was confident in who I was and that I was okay with my family members decisions to exclude me from their lives, but the reality of it all is that I really was not. Not at that time anyway. As much as I attempted to hide or mask my feelings the fact of the matter is that I longed to be a part of their lives and I desired for them to want me as a part. I only wanted to be accepted! It is amazing how we can look back and see how truly broken we can sometimes be as a result of someone else’s decision not to make us a vital part of their lives.
Rejection can have a very powerful effect. When we are rejected it is not uncommon to develop insecurities, a lack of confidence and low self-esteem. We often blame ourselves for the lack of acceptance and as a result we begin to question who we are and we wonder what is wrong with who we are. The fact that someone or some people we are biologically, emotionally, physically or mentally associated with ,chooses to deny and discard us, can cause long-term effects that are sometimes concealed.
When I realized that I had been hurt and bruised by the rejection that took place in my life many years before, it was a very startling revelation. I then begin to understand why I always felt as though I needed people to understand my view points. I also understood why I felt as though I needed validation when I made a life altering decision. I understood why I would become so upset and discouraged when I felt as though the ones who were the closest to me did not understand me as I so desperately wanted them too. I not only wanted their approval but I felt as though I needed their approval. I only wanted to be accepted! This desire for acceptance was a place of bondage and entrapment for me. It was a hard and sorrowful place that often led me to question and rethink my decisions and ponder more on how I could please those around me with the decisions I chose rather than myself.
True deliverance came for me when I realized first that there was a problem. Once I begin to deal with the feelings associated with those relationships that had aided me in getting into that place I started to become a more liberated person. There was no more room left to hide those feelings it was time to deal with them head on. I took all of my hurt, frustrations, sadness, anger and unforgiveness and I dealt directly with those emotions. I realized that I had to stop taking responsibility for situations that were out of my control and choices that were not mine to make. I also begin to see that some of those who had rejected me were hurting and broken themselves. That revelation caused me to not only forgive but to develop a greater compassion.
Once we realize how important it is for us to completely accept ourselves in spite of our past, our failures, our short comings and our imperfections then we will be able to accept others’ decisions concerning us. We have the power to determine our destiny and this power does not have to be based on who decides to remove themselves from our lives. Rejection is not a new term. All through the bible we see people whom suffered rejection from loved ones. Jesus was one of the most rejected people; however, it did not stop him from fulfilling his purpose. It is imperative that we realize our own importance and embrace that importance. Our value is not determined by who accepts us or who doesn’t accept us. We are God’s creations and our value lies in Him and whom he has made us to be. There are some questions that may never be answered. In some cases we will eventually gain an understanding as to why some have rejected us and in other cases we may never understand. However, regardless of the why, we must know that we can still be made whole and live fulfilling and prospers lives. It no longer has to be, I only want to be accepted, but it can be I am valuable even if I am not!