I Only Want to be Accepted!

For many years I unknowingly struggled with the issue of wanting to be accepted.  After experiencing years of rejection from some of my family, I developed an insecurity that I was unaware even existed.  I often told myself that I was confident in who I was and that I was okay with my family members decisions to exclude me from their lives, but the reality of it all is that I really was not.  Not at that time anyway.  As much as I attempted to hide or mask my feelings the fact of the matter is that I longed to be a part of their lives and I desired for them to want me as a part.  I only wanted to be accepted!  It is amazing how we can look back and see how truly broken we can sometimes be as a result of someone else’s decision not to make us a vital part of their lives.

Rejection can have a very powerful effect.  When we are rejected it is not uncommon to develop insecurities, a lack of confidence and low self-esteem.  We often blame ourselves for the lack of acceptance and as a result we begin to question who we are and we wonder what is wrong with who we are.  The fact that someone or some people we are biologically, emotionally, physically or mentally associated with ,chooses to deny and discard us, can cause long-term effects that are sometimes concealed.

When I realized that I had been hurt and bruised by the rejection that took place in my life many years before, it was a very startling revelation.  I then begin to understand why I always felt as though I needed people to understand my view points.  I also understood why I felt as though I needed validation when I made a life altering decision.  I understood why I would become so upset and discouraged when I felt as though the ones who were the closest to me did not understand me as I so desperately wanted them too.  I not only wanted their approval but I felt as though I needed their approval.  I only wanted to be accepted!  This desire for acceptance was a place of bondage and entrapment for me.  It was a hard and sorrowful place that often led me to question and rethink my decisions and ponder more on how I could please those around me with the decisions I chose rather than myself.

True deliverance came for me when I realized first that there was a problem.  Once I begin to deal with the feelings associated with those relationships that had aided me in getting into that place I started to become a more liberated person.  There was no more room left to hide those feelings it was time to deal with them head on.  I took all of my hurt, frustrations, sadness, anger and unforgiveness and I dealt directly with those emotions.  I realized that I had to stop taking responsibility for situations that were out of my control and choices that were not mine to make.  I also begin to see that some of those who had rejected me were hurting and broken themselves.  That revelation caused me to not only forgive but to develop a greater compassion.

Once we realize how important it is for us to completely accept ourselves in spite of our past, our failures, our short comings and our imperfections then we will be able to accept others’ decisions concerning us.  We have the power to determine our destiny and this power does not have to be based on who decides to remove themselves from our lives.  Rejection is not a new term.  All through the bible we see people whom suffered rejection from loved ones.  Jesus was one of the most rejected people; however, it did not stop him from fulfilling his purpose.  It is imperative that we realize our own importance and embrace that importance.  Our value is not determined by who accepts us or who doesn’t accept us.  We are God’s creations and our value lies in Him and whom he has made us to be.  There are some questions that may never be answered.  In some cases we will eventually gain an understanding as to why some have rejected us and in other cases we may never understand.  However, regardless of the why, we must know that we can still be made whole and live fulfilling and prospers lives.  It no longer has to be, I only want to be accepted, but it can be I am valuable even if I am not!White Rose

Don’t be Discouraged, God is not a Liar!

 Don’t be Discouraged, God is not a Liar!

 

Three of my promises!

Almost immediately after my husband and I were married I developed a deep yearning to become a mother. There was a strong burning desire in my heart to love, care for and nurture children. The intensity of this desire truly surprised me because prior to my husband and I meeting my focus was placed more on my career than any other part of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted children, by birth and adoption; however, that part of my future was not considered to be a priority at the time. As I look back, I now realize the strong desire that consumed me for a few years after my wedding, was placed on the inside of me for a purpose. There was a plan and yes there was a purpose. A plan that God himself had devised. A plan, that in the end, would give me my heart’s desire, give God His glory and prove that he is not a liar.

My journey to motherhood was far from an easy one. The pathway there was filled with tears, prayers, long talks, and feelings of being unworthy and incomplete. I was not focused on how I would become a mother; as I stated before, I always knew I wanted to experience birth and adoption.  I just truly longed to be a mother. The inner struggle I dealt with was often the culprit that caused me to be distracted at times, jealous on some days, and doubtful on many days. However, my emotional roller coaster and spells of wavering did not change the promise that God had made, specifically to me. He was faithful to his promise and although the process getting there was long and difficult; the end resulted in me becoming a mother to three beautiful, healthy and vibrant children by birth and adoption. God made me a promise that he would give me my heart’s desire, and he stood by his word. The promise was fulfilled at the appointed time.

As Christians, it is not uncommon for us to find ourselves in situations that may cause us to question ourselves, our actions, and even the plan and will of God. Many of us often find ourselves in what I like to consider a “wilderness experience”; a place that can keep us in bondage mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. These are the experiences or situations that we ourselves have no power to change, and regardless of how much we seem to pray and/or believe, it seems as though the situation never does. In some instances, the problem seems to get bigger while the solution seems impossible or nonexistent. I personally believe that these are opportunities for God to show His unlimited power to believers and nonbelievers alike. These opportunities allow him to affirm that he is a faithful God and that he will not make a promise that he will not fulfill. Now, I do understand that some promises are conditional and that we may choose to deny or reject things that God desires for us to have, but God will always hold up his end. He always has and he always will.

In the midst of any wilderness experience or gloomy situation, we must attempt to focus on God’s word and his promises. Regardless of whether the situation involves health issues, financial issues, broken relationships, a desire for marriage, a desire for children, marital issues, behavioral issues with children, and more, we must remember that there is no situation that is more powerful than God! He is the ultimate and supreme authority and in the end the final say is his. It is important to realize that when we dwell on any thought that is contrary to the word of God, then we are unintentionally treating him as though he has lied to us. God is a limitless God; however, he chose to put limitations on himself, for our sake and his name’s sake. He cannot lie to us. This is not a guarantee that we will not endure trials, moments of suffering, and even losing loved ones. The word of God specifically tells us that these things will happen. We will suffer, we will have hard times, and at some point, everyone must face death. However, he has also promised us help, comfort, strength, peace, deliverance, and healing. We know that there will be a night of weeping but, he has also promised a morning of joy.

We as people of God must stay encouraged and continue to believe. Although there may be moments where things seem hopeless, we should always remember that he is, “I Am”; in other words, he is our hope when there seems to be no hope. He is our joy when there seems to only be misery. He is our peace when everything is chaotic. He is our everything. Whatever we may need or desire is found in him. When situations do not turn out as we desire, know that God is still at work. As long as we love him, he has promised that even disappointments, will work for our good. His word was given for a purpose, and he will always stand by his word. His word is truth and only truth. He will not lie! In every problem, we must learn to allow God the opportunity to show that he is a healer, a deliverer, a void filler, a provider and so much more. We must obtain a different level of faith and trust in the midst of those wilderness experiences. It is imperative that we do not stay discouraged and that we remember God is not a liar!

 

” God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? Behold, I have received commandment to bless: and he hath blessed; and I cannot reverse it.”  Numbers 23:19-20

Photo by JF Creations: https://www.pictrs.com/jfcreations?l=de